Learning About Leadership from a 4-Year-Old

Throughout my life, I’ve had the good fortune to meet people that have made such a powerful impact on my journey. Sometimes, we’ll meet someone and not know the incredible influence they’ll have on us in the future. As the relationship grows, so too does the degree of your bond, and you unexpectedly find your life richer and more fulfilling. In my life, they're truly inspiring people that have become some of my greatest teachers. They have openly, without hesitation, shared their wisdom with me. They’ve guided me, they’ve taught me, they’ve held me accountable, and they’ve loved me. And love truly is the greatest gift we can give to anyone. It’s free, it’s sustainable, and it can change lives.

Four years ago, I met someone that would forever change my life for the better. It was indeed one of those experiences when I wasn’t quite prepared for how this person would change my life’s journey in such a profound way. Quite simply, I wasn't prepared to learn from him. He's encouraged me to reach for those dreams that may seem unattainable, but are achievable when we choose to live beyond fear and instead focus on what we want the most. Through his wisdom, he's encouraged me to work to be better. One would think that such a person must have years of life experience to gain such incredible knowledge to pass on. Actually, he's only four years old. This person is my son, who has truly become one of my greatest teachers in life, and in leadership. He’s become my own personal Yoda (which is appropriate since they are both about the same size). Now, you may be wondering how a four-year-old can teach someone to be a better leader? Read on!

We often gain wisdom through our life experiences, but wisdom can also come from the inner peace that each of us holds. While my son may only have four years of life experience, he carries a tremendous sense of peace with him. He is pure, he is innocent, and most importantly, he isn’t afraid to love. And when I think about the best leaders that I’ve met or read about, they all shared similar qualities. They were empathetic, and they showed genuine compassion for people. And empathy and compassion are both extensions of love. To me, this is where true leadership starts; with a fearlessness to show love to those we serve.

Fear can sometimes get in the way of what we want the most, and it's something I struggle with as well. But it's important for all of us to remember that fear truly is an illusion. And while my son may be afraid of the dark, he isn’t fearful in one of the ways that matters most. He isn't afraid to love unconditionally. And what a wonderful gift that is. He isn’t hesitant to express his love for others, and to tell them how much he appreciates them in his life. How often do we take the time to tell those that mean the most to us just how much they truly do? A simple phone call or text message can bring a smile to someone’s face so quickly. It's even better when we can do this in-person. All of the relationships in our lives can be so much richer when we choose to love unconditionally. When we look at our children, let them give us the courage to love fearlessly.

Part of being an effective leader is the ability to see the value in every person we serve. Our children can be our greatest teachers here. We’re born with the belief that every life has value, and that all of us are equal. We see each other the same; we simply do not know prejudice. We’re also not born with the terrible burden of knowing how to carry a grudge against someone. And we’re not born with the belief that it’s acceptable to harshly judge others. When we look at our children, let them be a reminder to us of the goodness in every single person we serve. Let them help us see the value in every life we come into contact with.

When I think of great leaders, they’re authentic. Authenticity is one of the foundations of any great relationship. When I look at my son, I see he isn’t ashamed to be who he is, and in turn, he freely expresses who he is. He’s not tethered to any particular notion of who he should be. He only knows what makes him happy, and then acts upon it. And isn’t happiness one of the keys to lasting success? Believe me, my son has definitely helped me embrace my inner-nerd. I’m 36 years old, and my office is decorated with toys. We should encourage those we serve to bring their authentic selves to work. Show them that you’re grateful for the gifts and the individuality each of them brings to your organization. Your relationships with those you serve will be so much stronger when you are willing to be vulnerable and show your authenticity.

Another key piece of wisdom my son has shared with me; he doesn’t fear the future. He isn't burdened with the worry of what is going to happen next. He lives in the moment. When I’ve decided to let some of the challenges of everyday life get in the way, he reminds me the only thing that matters is the moment. He also doesn’t needlessly worry about the past. What a remarkable gift. While we should always have vision for the future, and learn from the past, we shouldn’t let those distract us from the moment. We should never lose sight of what’s important in the present, and then give it our all without fear. How often do we each take the time to do something we truly enjoy? Those times when we don’t burden ourselves with the complexities life can bring us. Let our children be a guiding force to help us live in the moment, and to cherish those moments by focusing only on that happiness.

Lastly, I admire my son’s sense of wonder. Believe me, through the power of his imagination and his action figures, this kid has created some of the most epic Star Wars battles I’ve ever seen. All in the comfort of our living room. When I see him do this, he is expressing his creativity and sense of wonder. He’s putting his imagination to work. Let’s help our teams put their imaginations to work, and to unleash their creativity. There are so many things we’d all like to accomplish in our lives. Let’s not lose that sense of wonder and imagination, and the excitement that comes to us when we think of a goal we’d like to achieve. To see something not as it is, but as it can be. Does your heart race when you think of something incredible you’d like to do? Mine sure does. When you think of a dream you’d like to accomplish, and fear begins to creep into your thoughts, simply ask yourself “why not me?” Let your imagination soar with thoughts of what could be. And, again, go after it without fear.

While it’s important for us to teach our children as the next generation of leaders, and to share our wisdom with them, we should also be open to learning from them. To love fearlessly, to see value in everyone, to be authentic, to live in the moment, and to proudly use our imagination to dream of a brighter future; these are life lessons that can not only make us more effective leaders, but can also help us work to be the best version of ourselves. Imagine the impact we can have and the lives we can change through these simple, yet powerful, concepts.

I’m so grateful to be this little boy’s father; I can’t wait to see what he teaches me in the future.

#Leadership